Sunday, January 10, 2016

Word of the Year

For years and years I've seen people coming up with their "word for the year". A phrase the connects all their resolutions. A motto to try to stick to for the next 12 months. 

I've always liked the idea but could never come up with something for myself. I've never been much of a resolutions-type of gal which might be part of it. It could also be part that I just never put in the time to think about it, if we're being honest. 

But this year is different. This year it came easily, naturally almost without forcing it, actually as I was just driving to the hospital one morning. So what's this year's theme?....


Yes, you read it right. Now bear with me while I explain. 
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This year I will try my damnedest that when I'm stressed and overwhelmed to just lose it. Lose those feelings, know that everything happens for a reason, trust that I'm working hard enough to get where I need to go. Lose the stress and the anxiety and the nervousness and the self-doubt. 

This year I will focus on my babies because the time I've been given with them when they're little, quite frankly, I can't lose it. I'll put my phone away, turn off the TV, stop trying to wear two hats at the same time because if I'm not present, the time won't come back.

This year I will love my husband fiercely so we don't lose it. Marriage takes work, lots and lots of work, and I have to admit that we haven't been the best spouses that I know we can be. Goodness knows there will be a lot of things that try to break us in the next year but one things for certain, we can't lose what we have. (and yes I realize I'm channeling my inner meghan trainor with this one).

This year we are growing our family for the second time and that first-time-mom guilt, worry and self doubt I had with Mark? I'm going to lose it for baby brother. I spent so many sleepless nights worrying that we weren't doing things right, stressed my body couldn't feed my baby, guilty for having to leave him with someone else so often, etc etc. Not this time around! 
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I'm sure there are plenty of other ways I'm going to lose it in the coming year that I'm not even aware of yet but my hope is that I can think back to this and remember what I've promised myself. We're all stretched too thin, over-worked, stressed to the max, not dealing with change well, anxious and not our best at times aren't we? And my hope is that this phrase, lose it, helps me real myself back in and accept that I'm human too. 

Bring it on 2016!

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