Monday, October 13, 2014

Baby H: Two Weeks

Taking the time to blog is on the back burner for now with a newborn, a husband with a full time job and being in medical school but there are things I don't want to forget. These posts won't be perfectly put together, it's been months since I posted about anything other than our son/my pregnancy, and it might stay quiet around here as our world has been changed forever. 

But I need to remember this season of life.
I need to remember those first days in the hospital, sleep deprived, in love with our son, falling more in love with J each moment I saw him with his baby. I need to remember the feeling of success when we finally got Mark to sleep at home after hours of screaming and fighting sleep.
I need to remember making baby hats out of robe sleeves because getting out of bed could have woken him up and required too much energy. I need to remember snuggling our little boy on his due date and the first time he got a bottle from daddy. I need to remember his skinny arms and cross-eyed gaze.
I need to remember his tiny self, so much littler than we ever thought he would be. I need to remember his personality even in these early days, his pouty lip, his long fingers, his soft skin.
I need to remember how special being this little boy's mommy is and how he's only going to be little for a while. I need to remember how timid Ollie has been with Mark but more and more curious each day. I need to remember that getting out of the house might not be easy, we might be too hard on ourselves but that it's always worth it in the end.
I need to remember the way he looks at me, even for just a moment before staring off into space, because he already knows who I am. I need to remember the adjustments we're all making to make this all work. I need to remember his first bath and how he surprises us every day.
I need to remember that life is a balance now between my own goals and being Mark's mommy. I need to remember how tiny pants still are too big and how I could stare at him while he sleeps. I need to remember to give myself and my body grace, we've only been doing this for two weeks and it took 9 months to grow our little man.

Each day with our little boy is getting better and better and I just know the best is yet to come. His two week doctors appointment went off with flying colors as everything is checking out great and we've already surpassed his birth weight. Our little man is now 7lbs 6oz and still 20 inches long and we think he's growing like a weed. Breastfeeding has been quite the challenge, pain, lack of sleep, worrying if he's getting enough, trying to pump and store while also feeding a super hungry boy. I'm keeping up with it and hoping that it gets better with time. We survived the first two weeks and are finally getting our heads above water. What a journey this has been!

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