Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Baby H: Starting Our Family

J and I had a conversation this past summer about our little family and the idea of it growing someday. We've both known all along that kids were in our future but unfortunately my dreams of medical school, residency and becoming a physician put in a few extra kinks that needed to be worked out making the process of deciding when not so simple.

So last summer we had two options to consider in terms of when to grow our family... during or after medical school. It wasn't too difficult to come to the decision that we didn't want to wait until school (and everything else that's to come) was over which narrowed it down to sometime in the next 4-ish years. At the time, the demands of school were all just hypothetical since I hadn't actually started classes yet so we agreed to test the waters for a bit and see how we adjusted.

Well school started and was everything I had hoped it wouldn't be in terms of stress, time demands, lack of free time, etc etc. It was the, "Hello medical school, here, take my life away" type of moment. After a few months I felt like I was finding my groove and started thinking about our family again. But I was almost 100% sure there was no way J was on board for it anymore. I was dying to know his opinion but honestly, I avoided the conversation because I didn't want to hear, "no, not right now".

Months went by and there was no conversation about it. Until Christmas. It was Christmas Eve, combine the festive spirit with both of us having a bit or a lot to drink and we ended up talking babies and how we wanted to start growing our family. I was in seventh heaven! But I was worried that it wasn't real, to be honest, worried that we had had too many drinks to even remember the entirety of the conversation the next morning (romantic, right? Ha!). But low and behold, it wasn't just a dream or a drunken conversation.

We agreed that there was no time like the present and that things seemed much more manageable than they did just a few months before. We talked about how some people try to get everything in order before trying to get pregnant but that there's never a perfect opportunity for it. If you wait until everything is perfect, you'll be waiting your entire life. So we decided to welcome the idea of a pregnancy and a baby with open arms.

And as life would have it, we found out we were expecting on January 17th, 2014.

I'm sure you can all do the math but that means that I got pregnant within the first month of us trying. I realize that there are many women who would give anything just to be pregnant, let alone so quickly, and for that I am both sorry to be telling our story to them and also thankful for the luck we had. No matter the time line, thankful doesn't even begin to describe our feelings towards this pregnancy and baby.

Regardless of how quickly things happened for us, the two weeks of waiting to see if there was a bun in our oven seemed to draggggg on! I bounced between moments where I was sure I was pregnant (most of these moments were when I was starving) and moments when I convinced myself there was no way it was that easy. For some unknown reason I had always assumed it would be hard for me to get pregnant so I almost didn't want to believe in the possibility too much so that I wouldn't be let down if I wasn't yet.

Because J and I are both planners, we were aware of my body's timing and aware of when we would know if our efforts had worked. I had been tracking my cycles for months, ever since getting off birth control last summer so there wasn't any mystery behind when to test, etc. Because of this I didn't get to do a sweet surprise, a hidden onesie or a baby-themed dinner for J to tell him the news because we tested together. And to be honest, I'm so glad we shared that moment together. That early morning plus sign is a moment I'll hold close to my heart forever.

Both my estimate as well as our first doctors appointment put Baby H's due date as September 29, 2014 and just thinking about that date still makes my heart flutter. J and I are thrilled to be on this journey together and can't wait for the fall to quickly arrive! 

Photo taken at 8w3d
with a heartbeat of 180 and even some little limb bud wiggles

We can't wait to meet you sweet thing. 
Grow strong in there and know mom and dad love you more than you'll ever know!

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