Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
My mom found a kids book of mine that is falling apart at the seams from being read so much... which book? I Want To Be A Doctor, featuring the one and only Big Bird from Sesame Street. And yes, I received this book when I was maybe four years old. That's how long I've known that I wanted to go into medicine, a whopping 17 years. I've been fortunate enough to never have that little voice in my head whisper to me "are you sure?" Or at least it never stuck around long enough for me to actually consider something else. I've had random thoughts about being something else but most of them were spurred from wanting to do what was cool to all the 10 year olds. Who wouldn't want to be an astronaut when your 5th grade class is studying space?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
+ Even if I wasn't sore today I wouldn't be able to go back to the pool again anyways. Weather yesterday= close to 70. Weather today=57 and cloudy. Come on San Diego, stop teasing me with the gorgeous weather just so you can take it away the next day. It should be shorts weather, it is the middle of March already. ;-) Ok so maybe I'm being a little dramatic but I just want to be tan, wear shorts, go to the beach and for it to be summer already!
+ I attempted a little self photo shoot which lasted all of five minutes yesterday because I was grungy from the pool and did not look up to standards. However, I did get a decent one which surprised me and its seen above. I feel like it captures the mood I've been in lately hence the reason I decided to post it. Maybe I'll try again some other day too and see what managed to form.
+ I'm really not motivated to get school related things done today, even though I probably should. Jeff's off recording his radio show, The Mulligan Show , and I'm sitting here having coffee and wanting to do more exciting things than study. I'm really in the mood to go to Ikea. I can't seem to get enough of that store and maybe I can get some new dishes, or some throw pillows, or a new frame, or a cactus. I have a few errands to run today too, nothing very important but at least I can use it as an excuse to get out of homework. But if worse comes to worse, I guess I wouldn't mind terribly if I could go sit at Starbucks, treat myself to a muffin and crank out some studying. The day will tell I guess.
+ My puppy obsession is just about as ridiculous as it's ever been. Seriously if I see someone walking a dog, not even a puppy, I have to stop myself from acting like a 5 year old and yelling "doggy" as I run up for a scratch behind the ear (for the dog I mean, just thought I'd clarify.) Our apartment manager called me yesterday to see if we were going to renew our lease and I couldn't have been happier to tell her "nope, sorry, we're moving." I just happened to leave out the part about moving so we could get our beloved puppy. The end of July can't come soon enough!
+ It is a mere 18 days until I get to go home for a few days for spring break. I'm very excited. That's all.
Friday, March 12, 2010
I've never been one to think about what's happened in my life and choose to write about it. Yes I'll look back at the things that have happened to me, the things I've been through and dealt with but it always stays in my head. I'm much more of an in-the-moment type of girl and typically believe that the past is past. I guess it might be a good quality, especially compared to the people that never seem to get over a traumatizing or life-changing event and you want to smack up-side the head and say "get over the break-up from middle school already." (Okay maybe that's a little much but you know what I mean) However, at the same time I sometimes see my closed past as a bad quality too, that I don't take enough time to think about my life and how I got here.
I sometimes have the attitude that "I am who I am" and believe that looking back isn't going to change that and who cares how it affected me.... What happens next? My assignment for my writing class happens to be a memoir, directed at one, individual moment in our past. I could be any moment from any time in our life as long as it was real, aka no dreams. Initially I dreaded it because I felt that looking into a moment of my life was pointless. I had more important things to take care of then sit and wonder about hidden meaning in a single event let alone form a coherent paper about with emotion and structure to turn in. Then I started to write....
While my first draft was not pretty, contained too many grammar and punctuation errors than I'd like to acknowledge, and was more stream-of-consciousness that required, I was somehow happy with it. With some revisions the paper started to take shape and ended up being something I was very proud of. Needless to say, I was shocked that 1. I was able to pull off a decent essay that would hopefully get the grade I wanted but more importantly, 2. that I liked, maybe even loved, the piece I had written. And I liked the way it made me feel.
Now would be the time that I copy and paste in my self-proclaimed masterpiece but I don't think I'm ready for that. To be honest, I almost wrote a second essay for my class because I wasn't comfortable with the transition from "never talking about a memory" to "having someone else read my writing about a memory." But I didn't write the second piece.
I'm proud of that too.
Maybe I'll go into more detail about the emotion behind me piece and the changes that it's made in my life since I simply wrote about it but we shall see. At least for now I have written my memoir piece and this is my favorite part...
I cannot say how long I sat in the grass or even what I was looking at. I have no recollection of what lay beyond my hill, what buildings were there or what people I saw. I don’t remember who attended the funeral or what I had to eat. I don’t remember the color of my dress or how much I had cried. I do remember feeling lighter as I stood up from those uncomfortable, wooden, bleached white chairs that seemed to be the only controlled item of the whole day. I do remember walking away from the family I had left and the friends who tried to understand. I do remember sitting in the damp grass and knowing that my life would be changed forever. I do remember the breeze.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
I am thankful for... reruns of ER, I miss that show
From the kitchen... will come my espresso that I am in need for
I am wearing... sweats from high school, sorry, they're comfy
I am creating... dreams in my head...
I am going... to biochem lab tonight, hope we don't have to stay late
I am reading... Blink, a very interesting book about split decisions
I am hoping... I don't get too stressed out in the coming few months
I am hearing... the whirl of the fan and the tv, not very interesting
Around the house... are my wonderful balloons from special days this month, I love the thought behind them that I don't want to throw them away
One of my favorite things... is roasting in the sun on a hot summer day at the ballpark
A few plans for the rest of the week... classes and studying like usual, plus going back to hospice to volunteer
A picture to share...